Books: Novels and Short Stories
Welcome to my World
Adrian Baldwin is a Mancunian now living and working in Wales. Back in the '90s, he wrote for various TV shows/personalities: Hale & Pace, Clive Anderson, Brian Conley, Paul McKenna, Smith & Jones, Rory Bremner. Wooo, get him!
After that he wrote three screenplays, one of which received generous financial backing from the Film Agency for Wales. Then along came the global recession to firmly kick the UK Film industry in the nuts. What a bummer!
Not to be outdone, he turned to novel writing – which had always been his real dream – and, in particular, a genre he feels is often overlooked; a genre he has always been a fan of: Dark Comedy (Horror's weird cousin).
As a young lad, Adrian grew up watching Monty Python and reading the novels of Kurt Vonnegut. Little wonder then - perhaps it was inevitable - that all his stories (dark comedies for grown-ups) would turn out to be "weird and disturbing but funny at the same time" - much like the strange and surreal humour he so enjoyed as a boy.
Adrian's first novel, BARNACLE BRAT won Underground Books Reviews' INDIE NOVEL OF THE YEAR 2016 (Readers' Choice)
His second novel, STANLEY McCLOUD MUST DIE! is shortlisted for Underground Books Reviews' INDIE NOVEL OF THE YEAR 2018
Besides Python and Kurt Vonnegut, Adrian cites his other major influences as Stephen King, Galton & Simpson, David Bowie, Bruce Robinson, Christopher Moore, David Mitchell, Robert Rankin, Colin Bateman, Irvine Welsh, and Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, to name just a few.
The author's debut novel BARNACLE BRAT won Underground Book Reviews' Indie Novel of the Year 2016 (Readers' Award) and now STANLEY McCLOUD MUST DIE! is in the running for 2018
Voting ends soon so please head over there and vote for STANLEY - thank you
Once done you should get the message: "Thank you for voting."
Please note: This is a Facebook Poll for Facebook people.
*Ignore the link at the side of Stanley's icon - that's just for information.
(a dark comedy for grown-ups)
Losing your grip on reality is a real bummer.
Just ask Leon Blank. Not that he’d know.
Seems those losing their marbles are always the last to find out.
Until recently, Leon would have argued that having a tendency to become easily side-tracked on a regular basis wasn’t that weird.
And what’s so unusual about hearing a voice inside your head? Doesn’t everyone? Isn’t that just thinking? But his recent visions are not so freely dismissed; especially the angry-looking clown who’s started following him around with a baseball bat.
Time to act, Leon decides: perhaps keeping a log would shed light on the mystery. Then again, could ‘seeing-things’ just be sexual frustration? It’s been a while! If only he had a girlfriend to take his mind off stuff . . .
Prepare to enter the normally hidden world of delusions, paranoia, and . . . ahem . . . 'unusual interests': Voyeurism; Feederism; Shoes -- that kind of thing.
Like to try the first 5 chapters?
Hit the button then.
(Remember, GROWN-UPS ONLY please!)
(more dark comedy for grown-ups)
Death can be a real downer.
Just ask Stanley McCloud. The ancient and inveterate gambler has just found out he hasn't long to live.
Refusing to believe his prognosis, though, Stan puts a massive bet on that he will reach his next birthday. Surely, his run of bad luck can't last!
Unfortunately for Stan the independent bookie he uses grows nervous as the big day approaches and decides to bump him off with one of her many fun, but ever-so-slightly fatal, high-odds proposition bets - aka Maggy's Specials.
Will Stanley McCloud make it, ruining Maggy McCulloch in the process; or will the heartless bookie have her evil way, 'accidentally' kill him, and save her business?
Perhaps Stan's womanising, alcoholic old pal Dougie can be of some help? Yeah, right! Good luck with that.
Oh, and there's a whole secondary storyline about The Head Honcho, a serial killer who leaves his victims' torsos in one place, and their heads in another. Yikes!
(another dark comedy for grown-ups)
In The Snowman and the Scarecrow - the closest the author will ever come to writing a 'family story' - young Joe's grandfather dies as they're making their traditional Christmas snowman. (Always a festive downer when that happens.)
As a way of coping, the boy searches for the missing snowman; it's a small town, how far could he have got? (Unbeknownst to Joe, the snowman was destroyed by insensitive local teens.)
Before long, Joe runs into an out-of-town drifter who promises to help ... but does the old vagrant have ulterior motives?
* DUE OUT SPRING 2018 *
With more novels and short stories to follow.
NEVER PLAY TO THE GALLERY
My dad's old ciné films cut up and set to music by CO.AG Music ...
... with inspirational words from David Bowie
(appears in FLOPPY SHOES APOCALYPSE 3)
'A distressing tale of kidnap, clownish trickery and carnal depravity.'
PIED! is a dark comedy short inspired by Stephen King's best-selling novels: MISERY and IT - but mostly MISERY.
(appears in GRUESOME GROTESQUES 2)
'A cautionary tale of Hookers, Truckers and Unsuspecting Suckers.'
BLOWN is a dark comedy short inspired by Truck Stops, Trailers, and 'Lot Lizards'.
(appears in FLOPPY SHOES APOCALYPSE 4)
'A disturbing story of immorality, obsession and
an amusement arcade claw-grab machine.'
EGOR'S EMPORIUM is a dark comedy short inspired by Roberto Segate's cover image.
* DUE OUT SUMMER 2018 *
Get a signed FIRST of my debut novel here. If you would like additional titles added to your order (courier charge is £3.29 per order - not per book) or if you are outside the UK, just drop me a line using the contact form below or email me at email@example.com
Grab a signed FIRST of my second novel here. If you would like additional titles added to your order (courier charge is £3.29 per order - not per book) or if you are outside the UK, just drop me a line using the contact form below or email me at firstname.lastname@example.org
Get a signed FIRST of FSA 3 which includes my dark comedy short: PIED! If you'd like additional titles added to your order (courier charge is £3.29 per order - not per book) or if you're outside the UK, just drop me a line using the contact form below or email me at email@example.com
Grab a signed FIRST of GG 2 which includes my dark comedy short: BLOWN. If you'd like additional titles added to your order (courier charge is £3.29 per order - not per book) or if you're outside the UK, just drop me a line using the contact form below or email me at firstname.lastname@example.org
THE PREDICTABLE LIGHTHOUSE KEEPERS
A sketch I wrote for Mel Smith and Griff Rhys Jones back in the '90s.
Yes, it hisses a bit; get over it!
But if you'd like to read one I gave to Underground Book Reviews back in 2015 you can ...
Or, if straightforward text with none of those pesky images is your thing, scroll on up to the Downloads section; you'll find a PDF transcript of the interview right there.
"No lack of weird things in this book. 400 pages you can’t put down. And when you HAVE to put it down, for pesky things like sleep or work, it calls out to you."
- Becki's Bloody Book Blog
"Highly recommended to anyone who loves a good dark comedy. This is one of those books that will make you laugh out loud in places that may seem inappropriate."
- Amy's Bookshelf Reviews
"What, is this still not out?! Come on, Baldwin, get a bloody move on!"
"Special mention must go to PIED! by Adrian Baldwin - an amazingly brilliant story. Who would have thought that Clown Erotica Dark Comedy was so riveting a read."
- Fizzy Red Maggs
"Fantastic. Creepy. Around 300 pages, with a wealth of diverse talent ." - Bernard
"An absolutely fabulous compilation of lovely, scary, blood-curdling stories." - Lorna
Due out summer 2018
Based on the remote island of Inch Kenneth, off the coast of west Scotland, this volume is a glimpse into the lives of a group of strange, deprived and downright twisted inhabitants during the 1930s to the 1980s. A humble collection of dark and sometimes disturbing images this volume combines both art and improvisation exhibiting the unique creative energies and day-to-day lives of a largely anonymous collective drawn from the urban wastes and united in depravity. The publisher recommends that those of a sensitive disposition select an altogether different volume. Those equipped to appreciate a richer experience, dissatisfied with ‘soft’ art and with a hunger for something more… raw, are invited to join the collective ‘Where The Hideous is Beautiful’.
This volume is a collection of 50 pages in A5 (205mm x 148mm) landscape format on 115gsm silk paper, full colour, full bleed images. A rich collection of detailed and layered imagery.
*Be aware: this book contains nudity and twisted dark art themes!
United Kingdom: Free. Europe (Zone 1): £2.00
USA, Canada, Australia & New Zealand (Zone 2): £7.95
Image/Artwork © Roberto Segate
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